


try to talk me out of giving up

by girljustdied



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-24
Updated: 2018-11-24
Packaged: 2019-10-03 07:32:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17279711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/girljustdied/pseuds/girljustdied
Summary: maia is confronted by a possessed jace before she leaves town.





	try to talk me out of giving up

**Author's Note:**

  * For [firstaudrina](https://archiveofourown.org/users/firstaudrina/gifts).



> during "a heart of darkness."  
> prompt was "i know you were thinking bad things when you kissed me."

A clean break. This is what Maia contemplates. Cutting ties with New Jersey cauterized her wounds; it hadn’t been without that initial burning hiss of upheaval, but it had saved her life. She could leave Brooklyn if she had to. Pack it into a bag, cross over a border or two, and watch herself and those scant belongings transform into the residents of somewhere—anywhere—else.

She wasn’t needed here. If she had ever once believed that she was, she’d been a fool.

Jace tells her as much, “You’re running away again. You’re afraid.”

Tremors overtake her hands as she tries to zip up her duffle bag. She balls them into fists and turns towards him to say, “You’re not Jace.”

It smiles at from her doorway, eyes vacant. The demon crouched in Jace’s body. Taps Jace’s temple, “Oh, he’s in there. He says ‘hello.’”

“Hi,” she mutters. “Why are you here?” Then, before it can answer, “I’ll have you know that I’ve beaten Jace in a fight. More than once. I’m stronger than I look.”

“Yes,” it nods, “he remembers.”

“So, what, you here to try and toss me off a roof, too?”

In response, it closes the door behind it. Takes one step towards her, then another.

She rambles into the predatory silence of its approach, “Because if you’re looking to attack every person Jace has ever slept with—that list might be a little exhausting.”

“I’m teaching Jace a lesson. Care to help?”

Skin prickling with heat, she opens her hands as claws extend from her fingertips. The bones in her jaw crack. “No. Stay back.”

It stops inches from her. “Clary will forgive him. They all will. Don’t you think?”

The words are a snarl, her teeth gnashing as they itch to grow, “I’m not exactly in the loop.”

“Same way you forgave the wolf that turned you. Jordan. But you’re still leaving town. Tell him why.”

It’s automatic: “I don’t forgive him.”

It skates Jace’s knuckles against her cheek. Feels just like him. Of course it does. “You do.”

“Fuck you,” she spits, and shoves—careful not to scratch. “If we’re gonna fight, let’s just get it over with.”

Before she can strike, a bruising grip onto the inner curves of both her elbows crushes her down into her bed. Holds her immobile. “If you insist.”

She thrashes against it, screwing her eyes shut to block out the image of Jace’s face staring down at her. Still, unbidden, his name slips past her lips— “Jace!” It’s a cry for help.

“Tell him.”

It doesn’t matter if she forgives Jordan. She’s not the same person. It’s not the same. Never will be. That knowledge is a source of anger, and, sometimes, an ache in the base of her throat when she looks up at the moon in a pitch black sky.

It was like that with everyone, eventually. Soured.

She twists enough to thrust a hard knee into its groin, then crushes it back onto the floor with her two knees holding the body down at the shoulders. Jace’s body. Her chest heaving with strangled breaths, she reaches down to pin the wrists as well.

“Kinky,” Jace’s voice taunts. “He remembers this, too.”

“Jace, are you really in there? Can you hear me?” The struggle against her lessens, but she can sense it’s still the creature controlling those actions. Regarding her, waiting for its moment.

“Go ahead,” it speaks. “Kill him. He wants to die.”

A stray tear slopes down her cheek. It was useless to talk to it. She should know better. All this thing wanted was to cause destruction, and pain. The mid-shift she’d been holding onto releases her, claws drawing back in. A bitter, impotent feeling in her chest.

“Come on, show Jace how little you care. You could save the world!”

She lets go of Jace’s wrists and slowly circles his throat with both hands, clutching tight enough to choke. Keeps that grip firm even as the demon uses the body to try and fight her off again.

“Bitch!” it curses.

She bends down to bring her mouth closer to Jace’s gasping for air.

“I’m not gonna hurt you,” she promises. Grazes the corner of his lips and hangs on, only letting go when the lack of oxygen flow forces Jace’s body to dip into unconsciousness. She wheezes against his cheek for a long moment after, elbows braced against the floor on either side of his head. Little sobs of panic rock through her; she closes her eyes and breathes in the familiar smell of him until she calms.

Maia had not considered Jace someone she was leaving behind. She hadn’t considered him at all. Stands on shaking legs and gathers her things with an unexpected longing to stay. To help. Instead, she drags Jace’s body out of her apartment. Reminds herself of the last time she'd traveled by plane: _In the event of an emergency, please put on your oxygen mask before assisting others_. Locks her door to protect the possessions she knows now she's coming back to.

“I just need to get away for a while,” she tells Simon, and means it. “Clear my head.”  



End file.
